The Background

Wow, its been quite a long time since I last wrote in my blog. I guess my mind has been on other things than writing, I missed it though. Well not many interesting things happening in my life, just pretty boring. I went back to school today and had no motivation what so ever. I didn't do any of my homework and I was kinda scared of what the teacher were going to say but as usual they said nothing.

I guess they can't say anything about it, just how disappointed they are. I mean I am the problem and I am the one who should change. I've always heard people say that "The first step is admitting you have a problem" and I know I have one. I haven't been doing anything in a while and I know that will affect me later on but I don't know why I don't do anything about it...guess I am just kinda lazy.

Getting off the subject of school, I started to skate again. I love skating it gets my mind off a lot of things I don't want to think about. Its like a drug and I can't get enough of it, even though I do have the risk of breaking bones and such but that doesn't matter to me. I haven't played guitar in a while though...which I find kinda odd, but I am sure I am going to pick it up again once I have the motivation.

I didn't speak to her today in school. I know we fight almost every other day but as much as I want to stop fighting it's kind of inevitable because we both have so much things that we hide from one another that sometimes it just wants to come out and that leads to a fight. I want to tell her I love her (which I have never done) but at the same time I don't because I know what she has with her boyfriend is really strong and I don't want to cause their breakup. I just can't hold in these feelings any more.

I love her so much >_<